We’re Not All in the Same Boat
I listened to a leader say, "We're all in the same boat here." He meant to connect. But I immediately tightened.
Everyone knew it wasn't quite true.
The leader was leading the conversations shaping the future of the organization. The rest of us weren't. Everyone in the room could feel that something big was shifting, and that change was coming.
So when a leader says things like "We're all in the same boat," or "We don't really know what this means yet," people feel the gap immediately. Once that gap is felt, trust in the messenger starts to slip.
The issue is the tension leaders carry in moments like that. When you know significant change is coming, you feel it long before the team hears anything official. Leaders walk into the room caryring that pressure, and what often happens is that they try to accomplish two things at once. They want their team to feel better, and they want to relieve some of their own discomfort about what may be ahead. Their language softens. The answers become vague. Leaders try smoothing uncertainty rather than naming it directly.
Leaders try smoothing uncertainty rather than naming it directly.
Looking back, the better move would have been much simpler. When the outcome is still being decided, stop trying to explain the end result and talk about the process instead.
Say what is actually true.
"Conversations are happening. Those conversations could affect the future of the organization. The final decisions are not settled yet."
Then explain HOW those decisions are being made and WHEN people can expect to hear more.
That shift matters because it doesn't pretend certainty, but it also doesn't pretend that everyone is equally in the dark.
The paradox is that leaders who are honest about the difference in your positions actually build more trust than pretending you're equals. People don't need their leader to be in the same boat. They need their leader to be an honest captain, and steady the ship.
Moments like that stick with people for a long time. It is still fresh for me.
During transitions, people do not expect leaders to have perfect answers. But they can tell very quickly whether the leader is being honest about the moment everyone is standing in.
And they can certainly tell when they are not "all in the same boat."
Your leadership is always visible to others before it's visible to yourself. The Leadership Check-In helps you close that gap — free, 20 minutes, no pitch.
En route — but aren't we all.