I took a photo of this sign in India.

S.T.D. Icecream sounds like the worst possible flavour …

Yes I recognize that STD means something else …

… But it is amusing!

Mark Crocker

____________________________________________________________

Arrived, safe and almost sound.

My appreciation for air travel was again diminished as I traveled from Calgary to Toronto, beginning with the surly Customer ‘Service’ Agents shouting at people lining up in the too small waiting area. Although I arrived 2 hours before the flight and was the second person in the lounge, I still had a crappy seat near the back (although I was able to change for a window – being a night flight) soon after we took off, I began coughing as a very sharp odor came wafting forward, I thought it was the disinfectant or something, but was soon proved wrong.

My seat companion also began coughing, and after a couple more episodes, I turned backward, to the woman behind me, and asked if she was spraying something. She told me that she needed to use these essential oils, but it was okay, because they were natural. I tried to reason with her, my seat companion joining in – natural or not, they were causing respiration failure – but she would have none of our reason – not for her.

I am not sure how to describe the stench, somewhere between sandalwood and methane … with notes of cat pee, vinegar, and pepper thrown in for good measure.

I tried to sleep, but I was soon brought to a full consciousness by the fine mist of spray as my row companion suddenly made a hurried exit. A fine mist and a few droplets had fallen on my exposed hand … yes … after sniffing; I recognized the sharp cut of bile. She had thrown up.

The scent of essential oils had finally proven too much.

The rest of the flight was a bit of a blur as several flight attendants expressed their displeasure at me standing at the back, annoyed that I would not sit back down in the ground zero my seat had become. After long persuasion they finally found me another seat, where although the head rest was broken (at one point coming off after crashing into my shoulder blades) at least I was sitting down and breathing.

The rest of the travel is anti-climatic by comparison. I finally slept on the 2-hour bus ride from Heathrow to Gatwick, as well as most of the flight from London to Sierra Leone – although I did catch “Charlie and the chocolate factory” (funny albeit very odd movie). The helicopter out from the airport and attempted extortion – normal.

I went out with the CAUSE staff for a couple of drinks at the local ex-pat watering hole, they were very welcoming. Went to bed around 2 and slept in until 10:30.

I just ate a cheese flatbread and hit up this net-cafe to chat with you.

We will be prepping a bit today for our trip up north tomorrow, once there we are out of communication entirely. No phone, Internet, cell, power etc. So this may be the last message to you before I get back to Freetown in about 2 weeks

Love you and miss you, wish you were here.

14 days later

…So far for me, no health issues to speak of: I smacked up my foot a little, had some stomach issues the day I was out in the sun for too long (a little heatstroke), my neck is still a little sore as I aggravated it a couple of days ago … but no big deal

It has been a very busy time, it will not surprise me if I host my own parasites after spending time in the villages. No running water (unless you count Boday’s legs), power for 4 hours an evening (when we put the generator on), and occasionally some rooms had lights! This was truly a remote area.

The workshops went really well, most schools were actively engaged and encouraging, although the hefty (and ironically named) Juliet in Faduga, was more actively engaged in stealing the cookies and cokes we brought her students, encouraging their fighting, and talking throughout the classroom time … of course, she was also the one teacher who demanded to be paid for our visit … ahhh!

The heat has been fairly intense, particularly as there is no shower … just some buckets and an open drain in the bathroom floor

Our night watchman and his friend killed a spitting cobra last night just after they turned off the generator. Lots of commotion. This morning I spotted the broken chair they used to beat the snake to death with last night … good men both…

We ate daily at the better of the two restaurants in town … “choices” … of which there were generally two. Rice with groundnut stew (peanut … no, not like satay … satay is delicious), or rice with a palm oil drenched green leafy stew … both usually with mystery meat (I had liver one night, I am not sure what animal). Although, to be fair, they mixed it up on us once, and served fried rice one afternoon.

The intern just got into their house; previously they had been in the guesthouse of the local bar. The novelty of “Choices” having long worn off … I enjoyed wandering the local open market with them in order to find some ingredients for a home-cooked meal. Rows of raw meat, stunted vegetables, and mysterious powders were spread out under the clouds of flies. After my attempt to determine what the various unlabeled ingredients, and spice choices were; I was soon appointed sous-chef, and that made for many an evening of trying to pull new dishes off with our limited resources, a single burner kerosene stove, and no recipes … Needless to say I went with Thai.

Otherwise life was very quiet and filled with the general activities of living without modern conveniences. We felt really, really good when simple things like the office administrator actually bought the pens and paper, or when we were able to use a printer at the local CARE office to print scripts rather than handwrite out 8 copies … achievements became much smaller and much more significant…

Anyways, i will have much more to report to you in a few more days! Looking forward to getting home and seeing your beautiful face!

Love you lots and lots

Day of departure for home
Wow this net connection is painfully slow … i have been sitting here for the last 10 minutes trying to get on…

I had Christophe call the airline this morning to confirm my flight and thus far I am the first person on the waiting list on the oversold flight …yay. I went in myself just a few minutes ago and they are telling me there is nothing I can do. So I still should be home on time, but there is an outside chance that I may have to spend the weekend in town

I will be heading to the airport in a couple of hours, I will have to get there early and sit around in the heat until 10:30 or so, what a great way to spend the first of the next 24 hours of travel! I am first on the standby list, so I expect I should get on the flight, I am definitely ready to leave the smell of diesel generators behind…

Not too much happened today, I met the country director as I went into the head office for the first time, nice guy…

Yesterday we eventually had some time off, traveled to a beach in the late afternoon where we swam ‘neath the palms for an hour or so … before the sunset. Then off to a nearby restaurant where I had a fantastic lobster pasta. Back home over the incredibly rough road in an hour or so, and read till bedtime.

Anyway, I probably will be out of touch for the next 30 hours or so, unless I do not catch this flight, then I will probably be able to get back on the computer tomorrow morning (it is almost 2 in the afternoon now … so about 7 am your time.)

Again, love and miss you. Look forward to seeing you!

a) what link?

b) yes, and I already clicked

c) not interested

d) I never do web surveys …

Anyways, if you are still wondering what this post is about … look up at the title bar and there, somewhere right of ‘About Mark’, lies the new addition – ‘Take the Survey’. Click it and you will be brought to a short 10 question survey.

If you are interested in finding out how your own Short Term Mission team preparation stacks up, then take 4 minutes out of your life and click through the survey.

Once you are done, I will send you your results …

Enjoy!

People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with English-speaking tourists. Here are several signs, seen in locations around the world.

Cocktail lounge, Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR

At a Budapest zoo:

PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctor’s Office, Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES

Hotel, Acapulco:

THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVED HERE.

Information booklet on using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:

COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

My favourite is next …

Car rental brochure, Tokyo:

WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVES IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLE YOUR PASSAGE THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOUR.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER

On the grounds of a private school:

NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION

On Athi River Highway:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a city restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

On one of the Mathare buildings:

MENTAL HEALTH PREVENTION CENTRE

In a cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIORS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Bangkok temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel room notice, Chiang-Mai, Thailand:

PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

Hotel brochure, Italy:

THIS HOTEL IS RENOWNED FOR ITS PEACE AND SOLITUDE. IN FACT, CROWDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD FLOCK HERE TO ENJOY ITS SOLITUDE.

Hotel elevator, Paris:

PLEASE LEAVE YOUR VALUES AT THE FRONT DESK.

Hotel, Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:

TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS. WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS

Travellers are well aware that Heathrow in London, England is often the hub through which you connect to the rest of the world. Often the stopover is several hours, or a day.  What do you do with a short term mission team? Several team leaders and friends have asked my advice on how to spend the day in London, here is the itinerary I put together … enjoy your next Stopover!

Some thoughts on London.

London is a walking city, you can and will have to walk any and everywhere, but it can take a toll on your feet. Bring really, really, really comfortable shoes. Bring an umbrella or a raincoat, London is famous for its fairly constant rain.

Drop your stuff at the airport short term storage, Heathrow charges by the individual bag, so cram one into another, or put two in a garbage bag …

There are many tourist maps that you can find at info booths, in the tube stations (subway), at almost any attraction, etc … grab one, they are often helpful. The freebies will not be as good as a “London Mini-map” that you can often find in a coin-operated vending machine in a tube station for a couple of pounds.

Get an all day tube pass that includes the zones that you want to see the sites of, that will probably roughly include everything within the “Hammersmith and City” and the “District” lines of the tube. If you look on a tube map, those two lines form a rough circle around the sites that you would probably want to see.

Things are expensive there, most prices will look like a price you would pay in Canada, but because it is one pound instead of one dollar, depending on the exchange rate it will cost you 1.5-2.25 times more. I found that while I am there that if the cost of an item looks like a Canadian price, then it probably is a fair price for England.

After paying for short-term luggage storage, the Tube and meals, the following suggestions are for the most part free.

Itinerary Suggestions for a day in London

Head to Piccadilly Circus, have a look around at the sights.

If you want to go to a play or a musical in the evening … At 11:00 the lone building at the south center of Leicester Square (pronounced Lester) sells ½ price tickets to many of the evening shows … TKTS formerly “The ½ price ticket booth” do not be fooled by the many, many other places selling half-price tickets … some first inflate the price to make it ½ price. There will be a line-up, so getting there a little early would not hurt.

From Leicester Square, you can walk a couple minutes south stopping in at the National Portrait Gallery as well as the National Gallery a few steps beyond that. Both include originals of many famous works of art. In the National Gallery you can see original Van Gogh’s, Monet’s, Manet’s, Gauguin’s, etc. It is worth a visit.

The National Gallery fronts onto Trafalgar Square (of Mary Poppins fame), there you will find thousands of pigeons, hundreds of people feeding them, and interesting statuary. Also the square is ringed with embassies, including the Canadian.

If you continue walking south on Whitehall street for another couple minutes, you will come to the Admiralty Arch, which leads directly down The Mall to Buckingham Palace. From the arch it may take 15-30 minutes to walk to the palace. There is not really a closer tube station to the palace.
If, instead of walking through Admiralty Arch you continue down Whitehall, you will soon arrive at the Horse Guards … if you are there at the right time, you may see them marching about. A little further down Whitehall takes you to 10 Downing Street (The PM’s place).
If you walk through the Horse Guards Arch you enter St. James Park this is a pleasant walk through the park to get to Buckingham.

Once you have finished gawking at Buckingham, which is fairly unimpressive, unless you can convince the guards in to let you have tea with HRH, you can head over to Westminster Abbey, the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben. To get there either walk about 5-10 minutes south to Victoria station, hop on the tube (Circle or District line) and ride to Westminster station. Or you can simply walk east 15-30 minutes up Birdcage Walk (on the south side of St. James Park) back to Whitehall and then south on Whitehall about a block.

You have to pay to tour Westminster, unless you arrive at some service time. If you want to step inside during service, pop around the side entrance – just let the guard know you are going into a service – there are often choral groups inside and you can also see the headstones of the many famous people who are buried there (ie. Churchill, Sir Isaac Newton), it is a beautiful building. You can also walk into the Houses of Parliament, to view the House of Lords as well as the House of Commons if they are in session (this is a great idea if it is raining and you want to dry out for a while. Take note of the massive entrance hall as you enter into the Houses of Parliament, it is built without a single nail. Ask the guards there for more history, they are often happy to oblige and let you know who was killed there. Big Ben is actually the bell of the very large clock outside the Houses of Parliament. The Thames river is also immediately east of the Houses of Parliament.

At some point grab lunch, I do not have good suggestions about places to eat, but there are thousands of places all around (try to avoid the ‘special prices’ or ‘where Londoners eat’ in places such as Leicester Square for lunch, it caters to tourists and often are awful)

There are many other things to do/see from this point. But it is best to get on the tube to get around. Some suggestions.

The Big Ferris wheel across the Thames from the Houses of Parliament is called the London Eye. I have never gone on it, but others say that the slow-moving ride is a nice way to see the city. I think it takes about ½ hour to complete. The Tate Modern Museum is also right across the Thames at this point, use the funky Millennium Bridge

If you go to the Tower Hill station you can get out and see both the Tower of London as well as the London Tower Bridge (and no, it is not falling down). It is best to go in the early evening as this is when they are all lit up with their lights.

If you want to do some upscale shopping, get off anywhere on Oxford street (Tottenham Court Road, Oxford Circus or Bond Street stations)

There are also other market areas to shop in. Camden Lock (Camden Town station) for antiques and crafts. Petticoat Lane (Aldgate East station), Sundays for all kinds of stuff.

If it is raining you may want to visit the British Museum (about a 10 minute walk from Tottenham Court Road station). They have free days, and often the last hour of the day is also free.

St. Pauls Cathedral is also a beautiful church (St. Pauls station)

For a rest, hop on a double-decker bus (the regular public transport with the closed top is included with your tube pass not the open top-type with a tour guide) , get to the top and ride around for a while as a self-guided tour. Do not worry too much about getting lost, if you are not sure where you are, get into a tube station and it is pretty easy to find your way back to where you want to go.

For the evening I would suggest you go to a show, (Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, The King and I, Cats, Oliver, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, The Mousetrap … all play somewhere there). Remember the ½ price booth for tickets, and almost all the seats are good, the theatres are fairly small. Before or after the show, you can wander a little through Soho, the theatre district. This can be a little seedy, but there are great places to grab a bite there

Those are many suggestions, and I know there are many other places I have not yet gone myself. If the above itinerary is not too appealing, look on a tourist map and explore

Have fun …

Mark Crocker

Be a trailblazer, follow no path but your own, leave a thought …

On an amusing note, I was just emailing back and forth over the last hour with a friend who is on his Blackberry in the Congo right now.

I asked him to say hi to some friends for me, and then he returned the favour for an older couple (Papa & Mama Mwamba – He is a chemist with Geka Mines & she runs a clinic) I had shared supper with them while I was there a couple of years ago.

The recollection of this couple reminded me of a funny story when I was in the DRC at the aforementioned supper with a colleague Marc Myburg. At the end of our time, Papa Mwamba gave Marc an artistic ‘conversation piece’ from his time at the Copper Mine, in essence a deadly piece of jagged heavy copper ore. Once we got to the airport, we ran the customary quadruple check security/request line. Sent a runner to about 6 different places in and around the airport to find certain bureaucrats in small rooms, affixed signatures and stamps to passport and papers. Then we sailed smoothly through airline security with our carry-on, the heavy jagged copper club in hand. Nobody blinked an eye. Safety first!

now the choice is up to you, which door do you want to enter #1, or #2.

its like divine russian roulette

If you chose “Atheist” sorry too bad. Hope your life works out better.

If you chose “Theist” Congratulations! Welcome to the family, burst into song … enjoy the day.

Funny, but I think I have seen a lot of proselytising, very similar to these sites in the past … “Bow your head, close your eyes and raise your hand …”. You’re in! But perhaps that is a whole long story…

i think i particularly liked the rights and responsibilities of the Christian, vs the rules for atheists … brilliant juxtaposition!

love it!