I was just reading an older blog entry I found on another website. It is an interesting and amusing travelogue, basically how to cross culture and attend a baptist church. I read it again and laughed. I will include it here after the jump (hit the ‘more‘ text below)
I just finished a google search to check out the name of the author and provide a proper link to the article, and as I was waiting for my site to refresh and allow me to spill these inspiring words, I checked out my outlook. Another missions friend had just emailed a notice about what church is like in his part of the world (Ethiopia) … he forwarded a church planters message that he was okay, although 5 others had just been killed for their faith that week. (again, to read that email, hit the ‘more‘ button below) The stark difference made me think.
I am happy to consider and work through the thoughts, dreams and ideas to discovering and understanding Canadian culture. To think how we as people of Christ are to involve ourselves in meeting others with true faith … I love words like emergent and pomo, yet I was yet again reminded that this all pales when compared to real need. Not just over there, but here as well.
Again perhaps some of my incomplete thoughts, I am writing up something that may (or may not) clarify them more so later … check back for my ‘why the church must die’ article. coming soon …
The Art of Not Getting Embarrassed at a Baptist Church
We attended Blackhorse Road Baptist Church on the weekend, not intending to join, but rather to touch base with the homies and check out life in a typical English Baptist Church. Its amazing how identical Baptist churches can be around the world. The order of service, the tone, the speed, the pastor running down the back at the end to shake hands, standing up for choruses . . we know it all. We know it well enough to never get embarrassed during a Baptist service.
Unfortunately, our kids were not as astute as we were, and almost blew our cover by sitting up near the front. And then Hannah started dancing in the aisle during the singing, and i suddenly wished we were in a black Pentecostal church, and her dancing would go unnoticed.
Anyway, it was a good experience and the people are lovely, as always.
Hints for attending a Baptist Church without getting embarrassed:
- Go for the back seats.
-Never stage dive – there is nobody sitting in the front 2 rows to catch you.
- Don’t raise your hands, or you might be volunteering for something
- Don’t drink the coffee, it comes from a large steel device from the early 20th Century called an “Urn” Go for the tea instead.
- Do accept the altar call – you get special attention, lots of prayer, maybe even a free Bible. And someone can give you free counseling and advice without pressure.
- Bring your Bible. Leave the prayer book at home.
- If there is a pot-luck or special dinner, be there – the food at Baptist events is generally very good.
- If the church is old but there are not many old people still attending, there is something inherently wrong. Don’t go back.
- If the last one is true, and there is no grey hair, do not attend the pot luck.
- Children’s and Youth programs are usually excellent. Your kids will want to return. This may or may not be good news for you.
- Be happy when you arrive and somber when you pray. (the opposite applies for emerging church/alt. worship). Not Anglican/Catholic hard-core somber. More like a semi-somber, a soft-somber, with no facial contortion, lest you look too spiritual. So if they ask you to pray, don’t go King James or Shakespeare on them (novice giveaway) but stay smart casual (like the clothing). And don’t go too far on the other side either . . don’t start telling God your latest joke . . and don’t go asking Him for His.
Chances are, if you are a visitor they wont ask you to do anything, most don’t ask you to stand up anymore. but they will mention you all the way through the first half of the service – so go ahead and enjoy all the attention!
- Don’t yell out encouragements during the sermon, unless you hear others do it first.
- Don’t freak out people with body movements or swaying during worship, unless others are also doing it. Again, sitting in the back will give you the big picture.
- If you dress badly or use Eastern fabrics, or wear a Marilyn Manson T-shirt, you will get special attention and extra cakes with your tea. If you dress up for the occasion, you will also get the same good treatment. But if you wear smart casual, like everyone else, they will assume you are a church goer and you will not get any special treatment. So put your piercings back in and don’t be shy about your tats. BTW, my wife was the only women with dreadlocks on Sunday and we got lots of attention.
- Singing along with the songs is easy – the words are projected on the wall and the music sounds the same for every song – no one will notice that you are not familiar with the songs and mouthing the words in time is a cinch. You may have to stand up but, if you followed my instructions and are sitting towards the back, you will see people stand up right before you – just follow their lead.
- If someone sings a solo, don’t be the first to clap and cheer and wolf-whistle – usually, there is no applause at the end, just a small appreciative smile or nod – again – watch other people and stay 2-3 seconds behind them . . . and i guarantee . . . you will never embarrass yourself in a Baptist church.
That’s about it. Not much else to worry about. The people are incredibly friendly. Nothing like what you hear about in the newspapers. So if you have never attended a Baptist Church, then I dare you to do it at least once in your life.
Let me know if you do.
here is the originalweb link for the article.
Here is the Ethiopian email from Brian
From:Brian
Greetings. To give you an idea of our day I am passing along an email I received 2 minutes ago from one of the leaders into an area we are working in, as is, except I have removed names and places to protect them. The area is facing severe persecution. Brian
Dear Brian
May the favor of God be multiplied upon you and your families in Jesus mighty name.
We are doing fine ,We are under divine protection. _______ (their town) is now in a time of trouble about 5 people are killed and 42 are seriously and easily injured in diffrent areas still the bomb is blustring .Some said trhis is from Fundamentals ;some said other thing but we said it is from Devil hence he is the killer from the beginning.
Pray for the interferance of the lords hand among this great nations. Pray for the Somalia fellowship seminar and the baptizem of 5 new converted on Agu 15
God bless you, You and your families are always in our prayer
In his service _____ from ______
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